Wednesday, December 30, 2009

i dare you to try to read this one

ok deep breath in 1..2..3

(this will take advance PIDOSPEAK I'm thinking)

so last year dallas had to win at philly to make it to the playoffs and got thier butts handed to them and i'm in hte bar all booohoooo and philly fans were all like eat shit cowboy dude etc etc etc and there was one fan while the philly caowboy connection of instant hate was obvious as they always are it seemed like ohhhh shes nice for someone whoroots for them and oh well i must now hang ny head in shame and wait for the 2009season

fastforwardtothis year and she walks in thebar and shesdating a coolguyiknow and wetalketcetcetc and ov erhtelast coupleweeks textshit about the gamesand shes all wevabout theboy and now ihearthey arebrokenup and imall likewhatdoIdo?

shesanurseandcooland prettyandsmart and asusualmy bottomline isifi can make a new freindSWEEETbut i kindalikeher

noireallylike her buttheniworryabout ageand performanceand stuff likehtat andwehaventevenhad adate.

imthinkingimprettystupidworryingaboutstuffthat hasntevenhappened yet


Happy New Years Everyone

Monday, December 28, 2009

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My Right Thumbnail Is Shiny

trust me you don't want to know but the sales person was really persuasive

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Where Have Eight Months Gone?

Eight months ago today Michele died in a hospital room at the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston Texas.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Misphits Of Holiday Pasts

the best pic because it has Jen in it!

Not sure what's going on here

the laptop did not start the car as i had hoped :)

Yes Bob and I called each other to make sure our outfits coordinated

AHHH Where did that Monkey come from?

Bob looking all pipey and stuff!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

You Are Not American If You...

Do not like Willie Nelson

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

NOW I know Why Mom Has Been Yapping At Me All Day

From teh minute I got up this morning Mom has been buzzing inside my head like a bunch of bees at a honey festival (yeah you all know I don't do the metaphor thing well)

It was not a bad thing or sad thing just kinda like me and Mom talking which allowed me to let a lot of corporate crap just slide off my back today which was nice. SO I thought that was it. Ma paid a visit to just let me know she was thinking of me.

But then on the drive home it got stronger. A few happy tears were spilt and a word popped into my head.


And being the not too smart son I said to myself "Self is someone's birthday this month?"

And it is. Mom's birthday is Friday. But that wasn't why she was yammering on.

She was telling me "Call your Father. He needs to hear you say Hi and talk about the mundane, everyday things we would talk about but I'm not there and you are."

So I talked with Dad tonight for about an hour. I think it helped both of us.

Thanks Mom Love you and miss you every day and don't be shy about yapping at me again!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Why? Because Someone Has to Keep An Eye On The Island

My bags are packed I'm ready to go
Long John Silvers and Hush Puppies, Mama's Pizza, The University Pub, the TCU Bookstore, Angelos BBQ, breakfast at Whataburger and the Paris Cafe, a couple late night trips to the lesbian bar (they love me there)and sleeping in past 6 A.M. might just be what this tired boy needs.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I've Been Meme'd!!!!!

By Linda

here are the rules:
"make a list of seven things I like that does not include people."
(I don't think any of these will come as any surprise to any of you)

1. GOLF!!11!
I haven't been playing well the last month but to just get away from everything for (by the time the drive to the course, playing and coming home are down) 7 hours is what's kept me sane on a lot of weekends.

2. The NFL
Yeah I know but Monday there was just a bit if a different air around the office as folks would be chatting about their team they follow and the games played over the weekend.

3. Texas Christian University
I love me some Horned Frogs. College was such an eye opening experience and started me on the path of finally growing up. Plus Ft Worth rocks

58 inches of high def. Shallow I know but I worked my ass off to pay for that TEE-VEE

5. Mortons Steak House
I only get to eat there once a year but damn! what a good meal.

6. San Diego.
I may complain about the trip but it really is a lot of fun.

7. Blogs.
All of yours!

Play along of you feel like it

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Lot Of Triggers This Week For Some Reason

I'm not sure what set anything off this week.
I just had some very vivid images of Michele at M.D. Anderson, non responsive, with machines beeping and binging, and never opening her eyes while I was there.

I had vivid memories of the family meeting with the doctor and making sure Michele's wishes were carried out.

I had vivid memories this week of the machines getting quieter and quieter.

It seems like yesterday that after her son and daughter said goodbye that I went in the hospital ICU room to get whatever was still in there so they didn't have to.

And for some reason the image in my head was looking at Michele, her dead body, knowing she was the best of us and had drawn the short straw,and missing her as much in that moment as I do right now.

I love you Michele. Your the best sister a brother could ever ask for.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I Made A Funny At Work Today

So we had a big 90 minute meeting at work today to let us lesser workers know more about how the new warehouse software really is the best thing since sliced bread even though after 7 months there are a lot more people with gray hair now then before the new advanced warehouse system.

And a question about receiving widgets came up and my boss brought out the tired line about the two theories of receiving widgets.

Boss: There are two theories about receiving widgets
Me: Tell us. Tell us both of them.

Well I laughed anyway

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Grrr AAArrgh Or The Process Continues

And there you have it.

I find myself crying a bit more these days.

And then when that is done I am incredibly thankful for all of you.

Thanks for being there for me.

It is mucho appreciated

Monday, August 3, 2009

I Just Want To Fucking Scream

And I really don't know why. I just do want to fucking scream at everything in the entire universe.

I've never had more things that "society" considers important than I do right now.

I have a nice house. I have a new car. I have a safe (as far as I can tell) job.
I get to play golf every weekend weather permitting. I can do pretty much whatever the fuck I want to.

I have a great family and so many good phriends on the innertubes.

So why, at this point in time, do I just want to fucking scream at the sky and claim how unfair everything is?

I won life's lottery. I'm white and I have a penis. Can't do much better than that as far as starting out can ya?

Probably not unless your born rich white with a penis.

I just don't know what the fuck is going on with me right now.
I've always been able to see things clearly and adjust and adapt as needed.

Seems now I don't have that particular talent penis or not.

There are things I should be doing that I'm just not.
Like get a physical or see a dentist but I just don't fucking care. I just want to scream. Sorry, fucking scream.

I've been mired in this type of sludge before and have always gotten through it.

Just seems the the older you get the harder it gets.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Not The Post I Thought I Was Typing

Damn me and my short attention span!
The original post was meant to be how stupid I am because I had a pack of cigarettes with three cigs left in them and then and couldn't find them and then I heard the washing machine and went "HMMMMMMMMM"
Sure enough plastic, cardboard, and tobacco all through my laundry.

Instead as I cleaned wet tobacco out of my clothes and started packing for my upcoming trip to San Diego my thoughts turned to Mom and one of my many trips back to Texas while she was still in this physical world.

My trips to Texas fall into three categories.

Quick trip to Brenham to see family.
Quick trip to Ft. Worth to pretend I'm still 20 and a Junior at TCU.
And the special bonus "Tour of Texas Trip" where i travel from Houston to Brenham to Ft. Worth and back again and come back to Baltimore.

On one of my "Tour" trips I came back to Brenham the day before I went back to the Houston Airport and spent some time with Mom and Dad.

Being a Momma's boy Ma asked me if I had any laundry that she could do.

As the woman was dieing of cancer, not even in my most selfish stage could I let her do my laundry for me.

I thought I had the perfect out.

"Ma", I said, "I'd hate for you to do my laundry and it be wrinkled when I got home"

(And yes I know I've written this before but aint that the beauty of blogs? Write it again!)

My 67 year old, dear loving Mother, who I love with all my heart gave me a look that would have melted steel.
"Steven", she said, "I can do laundry and pack it so it does not wrinkle!

And once again I realized how lucky I am to have such a great Mom.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Forces Of Nature And Other Things You Can Not Avoid

It's still odd, even going through it after Ma died, how the smallest things can be a trigger or you start crying and then laughing and can't figure out what started it at all.

At the oddest times it just hits.
I'll never physically hug my sister again.
I'll never talk to her on the phone again.
Then a moment from years ago that just makes me laugh.
(If I haven't told you about the date when I was a senior in high school[legal drinking age for me and my date] and Michele and her friend made us dinner and gave us non alcoholic wine and I acted all drunk remind me not too!)
And on the flip side years to come where she won't be there in the flesh at whatever holidays we gather for.

Grief and grieving is a process. I know that and all of you have helped me through this before. Thank you for that.

But the force when it just hits still amazes me.

I love and miss you Michele.

And I'm pretty sure we'll start talking like me and Mom do.

I can still hear you saying to Mom when she would ask "B do you want a sandwich?"
And you would say "He can do it himself".
And it would drive you nuts because I took advantage as if I could not make my own damn sandwich (and I only did it because I knew it annoyed you!)

I miss you every day Michele but for some reason the tidal wave hit today.

And I am proud to sit here and cry and laugh while I remember you.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Friday, July 3, 2009

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Maybe Or Maybe Not

Maybe I'll happy. Or maybe not.
Maybe I'll shoot 89 tomorrow or maybe not.
Maybe I'll live to be 103 like Grandma. Or maybe not.
Maybe I will die at 49 like Michele. Or maybe not
Maybe I will compromise one day. Or maybe not.
Maybe I'll not miss my misspent youth. Or maybe not.
Maybe I'll let NonCat in the house again fleas and all. Or maybe not.
Maybe I will discover time travel. Or maybe not.
Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to reconcile the 24 year old and the 47 year old and realize one is just an extension of the other. And vice versa.

Or maybe not.

Maybe you'll stay tuned to see how it all turns out!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Fine I Say. Bring It On Dining Room Table

So the 8 gallons of Liquid Nails did not work.
Fine table you want to play that way bring it.
I have a drill, a countersink bit, and enough bolts to make you stand up.
By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Wavan, you shall be avenged!
(Not sure if that is directed to the table, the liquid nails, or me! But is is funny)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Socks With Crocs A.K.A The Meme Must Go On!

From Christina:

"Socks with crocs.

Crocs in a box.

Crocs in socks with glocks in a box.

Why are crocs in a box with glocks in socks?

I do not know but I think it's bollocks."

From ME

"Crocks in socks
Crocks in socks with locks
Do the Crocks in Socks have key to the locks?
Don't know but the tunez they are playing rockz"

It's a challenge peoples to kepp it going on your own globs!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

It Is Post #210!

So noncat comes in and spends a lot of time last night. We had some bad thunder showers which may have scared her a bit.

We had a threat of some this evening so she also came over tonight and then did her "look" (which I interpret as I must pee poop and hunt) so outside she goes.

A couple minutes ago I go onto the porch and there she is. I am determined to enjoy a beer on the porch.
She wants back in. So I open the shiny new storm door and let her in and sit down on my cheap ass target camping chair on the porch.

Was this good enough for her? To paraphrase Steve Martin NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She sat at the door looking at me until I also came inside and then went to her favorite place in the dining room!

Guess she showed me who is boss! (And yes I am thinking about buying some cat food tomorrow-bad plan but she is getting skinny)

Monday, June 1, 2009

2 Months 2 days 2 Minutes What's The Difference?

Tomorrow will be two months since Michele died.

And for some reason it has been hanging over me today like the cloud that followed Pig Pen around in the old Peanuts strip.

It's just hard to believe two months ago Dad and I were in Brenham taking a quick respite from being at M.D. Anderson and having a beer on the back porch.

And then the next day there I was with my family and all the machines which had made so much noise. And then they fell silent.

I kissed Michele on the forehead and said goodbye.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I Got A New Toy

I could be in love.

Yes I know I am a simple man but it comes with two, TWO batteries not just one and who needs three?

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Yes I know some of you on the islands have seen rain that would make me lose my hair but for sweet baby jeebus's sake do you have to knock out the TV too?

Looking forward to winter which taking into account these weather patterns in Maryland, will be here in about 2 weeks.
(yes my punctuation sucks I know hence why i flunked out of journalism school)

and in case i have not told the dwellers of this island this in a while

Y'all have/are helping me get through a very tough time. Artesians or not!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

So, what ever happened to the Konagod "Hire me" mojo, anyway?

I had it. Then someone else had it. Then Christina had it for a while. I think we even sent it back to Kona at one point.

In any case, please send it down here directly, KTHXBAI.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Too Forward?

My last email exchange with a lovley young woman I met at Comic Con last year

"I'm glad your dad will be around. You both need to take it easy. I'm having a good time over here. It's nice to get away from those Amish, every now and then.

I'll see you at Comic Con, right?"

"You better see me at Comic Con!
I fly in in Wednesday and have a dinner that night with DC (Paul Bob and our bigwigs) and fly out Sunday.
It would be nice if we could have a meal or a drink away from it all."

Hmmm comic book non romance LOL (she is a pretty cool person though so maybe I'll get to spend a couple hours with her)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

This Is How I Am Feeling These Days

With apologies to Freida Bee as it aint a froodle just a jumbled up bunch of mess.

Like me!

Monday, April 27, 2009

A small thing

I pick up my next door neighbor's kids along with my own after school, the weeks that the girls are here with me. Today, presumably as a thank you (and also because she's just that kind of neighbor), she rang the doorbell and gave us a little plate of pineapple cake, fresh from the oven. That was nice enough of her; nicer still, to my mind, was the fact that she brought eight pieces, not six.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Boy Turns Eight

And we took him back to the 80s.

The place still looks (and smells) just like it did way back that then. The kids had a fantastic time and The Boy was very happy.

Happy Birthday, Drama Boy.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Missed Keith

He was out of town and I really missed him.

I missed the sounds of him threatening to beat the kids with the neighbor's truck due to the "lawlessness around here".

I missed the sight of the vein throbbing in his forehead.

I missed the smell of the smoke coming out of his ears, Cajun barbecue with just a soupcon of bourbon... all just says "home" to me.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Well, I am personally glad that your mom didn't have acne.

Christina knows what I'm talking about!

Well let's just say no "acne", mom and dad, equals at some point me.

Y'all could be subjected to worse, right?




Friday, April 10, 2009

I Guess...

Anger is part of the healing process too.
(No I didn't do anything stupider than normal on a Friday night)
But I was just angry.

It's weird getting used to (again) those moments when your eyes well up for no reason.

There is no trigger, no memory, or outside stimulus that makes you remember.

Just an overwhelming tidal wave of sadness.

And you make all the adjustments over the years and find a new reality.

One where you can't call or touch or see her anymore but you know what she wants for you.

She wants you to grieve, to cry, to be sad.

To mourn the loss of a sister taken way too soon.

To see her in her children.

To be there for our father and sister.

And then continue to live your life in a way that honors what she means to you and what you mean to her.

It's never easy but that's what I'm shooting for anyway.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

You KNow It Is Hard

To find your glasses that you need to see with when you are not wearing them.
Just saying is all.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Michele Has Moved On

We met with the head Doctor at 5 tonight and agreed on a course of action.

The dialysis would be turned off, the blood transfusions would stop, and all of the medicine would be cranked down except for those that helped with any pain.

My sister died tonight at 7:25ish P.M. Thursday April 2nd 2009.

Go in Peace Michele and thank you for making me a better person for knowing you.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

All My Bags Are Packed I'm Ready To Go

Sheri called about an hour ago. Michele is now on a respirator.
I booked my flight to Houston about 30 minutes later.

Tomorrow at 9:25 PM I touch down in Houston and it may be a whole new reality facing me.
I don't know.
It's almost midnight and I can't sleep. I packed my suitcase. Logged into work and sent the appropriate emails informing people who need to know of my upcoming absence from work.
I don't want to end this post because when I do I know the next moment happens. And the moment after that.
I'm really scared.
I don't want to think of a world without my sister in it.
But until that reality sets in I will do my best to be as positive and strong as I can.
All you can do, right?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The World Is Full Of stupid People

My cousin was in this band.

Fro some odd reason this song came on the playmix at the house of trees while we were WII Bowling, watching NCAA and Nascar.

It's no cows with guns but still I always thought it was a fun song.

Bonus fact I was drunk once and tried it a karaoke

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Really What's 5%

I'm still making 95% as much as I did yesterday

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Actually Heard On The News

and no i have no proof but as TEEVEE reporter whomever was reporting on Bernie Maddof this was the sentence:
Bernie Maddoff was taken straight from the courthouse to the jail across the street in an underground tunnel right below me."


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Well That Was New

So noncat spent the night last night and after her usual 20 minutes of "PURR PURR STEVE YOU'RE THE BEST" she fell asleep on the ottoman.

I decided she was to cute to move and went to bed and she stayed where she was.

About 5:30 A.M. this morning I'm still in deep slumber and I feel this THUMP on my head.

The cat head banged me! At 5:30 in the morning! No cute just walking around the bed she meant some sort of bidness.

Needless to say she was outside less than 5 minutes later.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A Warning for Those Who Ever Meet Us

This is Keith and I, except for the unhappy ending. And the fact that these two apparently don't know. We know what we're doing.

We bicker and fuss at each other. We pick on each other. We throw zingers. Sometimes, we even lob an easy one at the other for a hit out of the park.

When we first moved in together, we lived in a house that was The Hangout Spot for everyone under 21. It was a nightmare. We could never get 5 minutes alone in our own house. Seriously, one night, we had to cut off the circuit breakers to get the folks off the video game and out of our house. One day, the frustration of that caused an argument and lo and behold! The room cleared. And quick, too.

Keith and I looked at each other and looked around the room and looked back at each other and you could almost see the light bulbs go off over our heads.

We did it all the time, whenever we wanted people out of our house. We got really, really good at it.

Then we started adding humor to it, after we moved into a house by ourselves. We've made each other laugh and made other people just totally crack up with the faux-arguing.

Some folks don't get it. Those folks usually fade away so it makes for a great intelligence/sense of humor test. We were once thrown out of a Kroger's because the manager didn't get it, although the cashier was laughing so hard, she couldn't catch her breath.

There are rules to this game, of course. He knows the things that will actually hurt my feelings as I know what will hurt his and we never, ever go for those things. We do not use faux-arguing to bring up issues over which we are actually angry--although I have been known to break this rule wrt to the whole "doing stuff around the house" issue.

After all these years, the kids play with us, too. The Boy...well, he hasn't quite gotten the hang of it yet and sometimes has trouble telling when we're kidding with him and when we're serious. He'll come around. The Girl is a master at it. She and her dad get going and it's George Burns and Gracie Allen all over again because damn, that girl can do The Dumb and Clueless better than anyone I know.

So, should you ever meet us, and we decide to put on the act for you, don't run away. We're just doing our Roseanne and Dan for you.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I've Seen The Wizard Of Oz

And dont remember the scarecrow having an evil jedi like ability to shoot lightning from his fingertips.

But I've had a few beers in the last 30 years so what do I know?

Monday, March 2, 2009

Don't let Anyone Tell Ya

That 45 minutes of WII FIT is not a workout (well at least if you are an out of shape middle age beer drinker and smoker)

So I finally got across the tight rope

Then decided I would try skiing with all of todays snow

I just can't do the ski thing

So I went to hula hoops

and did so well I unlocked SUPER hula hoops!

Then I jogged and did two yoga poses

It's tough keeping that balance with a bud in one hand and a controller in the other!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Kinda weird

just being Steve out here in the innertubes

Update: It's been a year and a month

Let's take a look at that Honey-do list, shall we? (Yes, we shall.)

  1. chosen not to leave me with no gas in the car every time I turn key after him. we no longer have a car. He crashed one and blew up the other. No issues.
  2. fixed the brakes on the Kia before they actually hit the floor since they'd been grinding for the previous 4 months. again, no car.
  3. put the missing piece on my car when I started complaining that the car was idling rough and tended to stall at red lights 4 months ago. I did not know a piece had been removed that caused this problem but he did. although...I have issues with my bike that he hasn't taken care of yet...
  4. tightened the power steering belt in my car when he put said piece on, as it is squealing and I tend to lose the power steering at odd times, like in the middle of turning and other inconsequential things like that.
  5. Fixed the headlight that refuses to pop up now.
  6. fixed the laundry room door that has been off it's hinge for a year. still broken
  7. run the water line for the icemaker I've been waiting for him to do for two years. still not run
  8. fixed the bathroom and kitchen floors that have been needing replacement tiles for about 6 months. attempted in half-measures that did not work. You have to fix the hole in the floor first and not just slap a tile over it. It will punch through. I fixed the kitchen floor.
  9. fixed our bedroom drawer that broke 8 months ago. My parents gave us their old bedroom furniture. The old dressers are now tool boxes. Drawer still broken.
  10. put knobs on our freaking shower and replaced the sheeting in the tub. knobs on but sheeting not fixed.
  11. put up The Girl's shelves that she's waited on him to do for two years. Nope.
  12. fixed The Boy's busted dresser drawer before it was totally beyond repair and had to be thrown out. Drawer still broken, not fixed.
  13. taken the old lawnmower somewhere that is not my backyard. took it to the dump. Check.
  14. raked the leaves this fall. weren't raked this fall either.
  15. turned over the compost heap, even once. still has never been turned.
  16. Also? Thanksgiving 2007 we deep fried a turkey in our deep fryer. We had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat. However, the peanut oil in the big pot must be removed and dumped after using it, you know? That pot? With the year and 3 month old peanut oil? Is still on my back porch. I took the top off--once. Won't make that mistake again.
  17. We've now been without a bathroom sink for a month.
In a month and year, so March 2010, we shall revisit this list once again. I'm not even mad anymore. I don't understand it, will never understand it but what can I do about it? Nothing. So, I either learn to live with it or go slowly insane. Now, I can't even do it myself with the back and all.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Non Cat and I Have Different Ideas

I guess she thinks if she sits on the table I'll feed her!

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Machine Was Not Incorrect

I spent 90 bucks so a machine can call me unbalanced and out of shape? Really?

But alas much like the Terminator the machine was right!

So I did 2 runs around WII island tonight, tried to walk the tight rope, did the hula hoop, and tried some stretching exercises.

And all that took 15 minutes and I'm tired! lol

MII thinks I may have to start a WII FIT blog to shame myself into keeping up with teh electronic characters on my teevee.

Or not. But shame is always one of teh greatest motivators right?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Please Human

Do you have to pee in here? I'm trying to sleep

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Oh! I've been meaning to do this for days


Prove the BBC Wrong

BBC Book List

Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.
Instructions: [Whatshername altered these, the old ones made it messy]
1) Bold those you have read.
2) *Star the ones you loved.
3) Italicise those you plan on reading.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
*2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
*4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 eComplete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
*25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (and the rest of 'em.)
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Berniere
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
*41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving (Thank you, Jen!)
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
*48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (Hated it, btw)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert (and the rest of these too. /yawn/)
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville ( I tried. I really did. I got 3 pages in and couldn't keep my eyes open. Way better than Ambien, this book.)
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
*99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
*********100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

According to my birth chart, I'm a "double-cross water water wet wet" or some such....

But according to this test....

Your result for The Elemental Beauty Test ...
Natural Beauty

42% Earth, 25% Air, 8% Water, and 25% Fire!

Natural Beauty

You scored 42% Earth! Outstanding!

The Earth element is a natural beauty. They tend to keep more toward greens, blacks, and natural colors for their wardrobe and their make-up, if they wear it to begin with. They tend to be grounded and not caught up in the latest trends. They are more interested in doing what feels right for them and being in touch with what is around them.

For inner beauty earth elements look for stability and commitment. They look after others and their family. They are realistic and tactile, meaning they aren't afraid to touch and be touched. But they can also be quite stubborn and unmoving when their mind is made up.

Zodiac signs for earth are Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn.

You also scored:

8% Water: Water is the etheral beauty. They like things that drape and shimmer. The love vintage and heirlooms; things with emotional ties and history. 0% Water may mean that you don't trust or use your intuition. Equal Water and Air would indicate a person that is a hard worker with a need for security and an attachment to possessions.

25% Air: Air is the fearless beauty. They are offbeat and funny. The mix old fashions with new and love to make new trends. They aren't afraid to be new or crazy. 0% Air could indicate that you have trouble looking at things objectively. Persons with equal Earth and Air are usually those who think and use good common sense.

25% Fire: Fire is the alluring beauty. They like to wear bright colors and show some skin. They are sexually minded and spicy. They use a lot of charm to get what they want. 0% Fire can often be seen in someone that pushes and tries to force self-expression. An equal Fire and Earth person is someone who has the ability to be powerfully creative. Fire provides the motivation and Earth provides the tangible results.

Take the Elemental Beauty Test

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bob's New Meme

Bob has discovered a new meme

here are the rules:
1. Grab the nearest book - no matter what it is. Textbook, novel, pop-up book, building code study guide, whatever.
2. Turn to page 25.
3. Read the 10th word on that page, or the following if that one is blank.
4. Type that word into Google Image search.
5. Post the third image.
6. Tag 4 people and tell them.
7. Link back to this post.

(the image is kind of small it says "No one can tell if you're a dog on the internet"

My word was "You're" from a pretty good graphic novel called Silverfish.

Consider yourself tagged if you found this post

Monday, February 16, 2009


I just did not get an email from AARP!


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Why Does No One Remeber This Man?

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle- dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz- ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer- spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein- nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut- gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Meet Reaper Man!

My First MII
Christine helped

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Lessons in Bad Parenting: Lesson 7

The Continuing Saga of Raising Children of the Corn

The Parent/Teacher conference went okay. The Boy is lazy and stubborn. We've all agreed on that. He can do the work, he just won't. /mumbles/...the bloody little git...

If the reinforcement of the importance of education and the modeling that I do myself doesn't spark the fire in him, I have no idea what will.

We're going for bribery.

"If all else fails, bribe the brat." --lesson in Bad Parenting #7

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I Know I am Boring and in a Bad Mood but....

does that mean my non cat doesn't even want to hang around?

Didn't mean to bore you non cat (but you're welcome back anytime)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

How Do I...

How do I get a voice recording when I don't have a microphone anymore?

Because seriously, y'all have to hear this dog snoring to believe it's coming from a itty-bitty, 19# cocker spaniel.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I Know You Are Tired Of Hearing It....

Just got off the phone with Dad and am feeling good realizing how lucky I am to such a cool Father.

Yeah the conversation gets circuitous some times but I'm lucky to have a parent that is so good to me.

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Only Thing Worse Than Fox News At Night?

Fox News during teh day!

It's like watching a train wreck. I can't turn away.

These people are certifiable.

But I'm sure when Mitch McConnell is on in 20 minutes he'll bring an air of dignity to the broadcast!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

the pizza man only rings twice

so i get home tonight and am dead set on ordering a pizza which i do (you like the ee cummings thing i gots going on?)

and the pizza guy knocks and i open the door in in runs my cat

yeah cat!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Some Thoughts From My Head

Gots to love my local wingnuts on WCBM here in Balteey-More
played 2 Barry X sound bites where he said (and the order for the words are important to the wingnuts) teh following:

He said AIR-RABS before for JEWS.


And don't even get me started about his first interview (which is chronicled much better here)

And then the snow set in today. And tonight rain ice and more snow!

I think I only closed my door and screamed twice today at work. I must be getting better LOL

Dad got back from California last night so I need to give him a call this evening.

You all would be proud of me. I used the Tee Vee remote tonight. I could not handle listening to Chris "Tweety" Matthews say "contraception" one more time. So instead a couple nice reruns of Scrubs on Comedy Central.

(and as a side note obviously helping out state budgets in these hard economic times regardless if it is contraception or other things is too big a concept for most of everyone on tee vee to handle)

Have I mentioned I'm ready for golf?

And this is what you get with bad weather. Me coming home early and acting like a drunk (Dutch?) monkey with a keyboard.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

We're Alone Here Right?

Pursuant to Cat Vlog at my place the the long day was because of this.

We let 13 people go today.

And that kills me.

I hate it.

I hate it when good people through no fault of their own show up at work and leave unemployed

It made me stop caring for the last 2 hours today about my job. I had a quick meeting with my employee before teh mas email went out and to let him know the company will not be matching 401K contributions for 08 or 09.

Yes I am sad when these things happen and I read them in the paper or the inner tubes. When it happens to people I know it hurts that much more.

I think that sounds shallow and selfish of me but I am who I am and I have cat sleeping on my bath mat.

Reality has started to set in and it sucked and now it sucks more

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

For Ouyang Dan

for Random Babble
I got a spare shoe to throw
(even if I didnt follow all the rules I'm a rebel like that)

Safe travels my friend

Monday, January 19, 2009

I've Been Tagged!

New Blogger and friend Wits and Giggles

And it is the 6 things meme
here are the rules

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules....
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag 6 new people and link'em....
5. Let each of the new tagees that they've been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when you're done.

1. I ran the re-election campaign for Richard Nixon in my grade school (I even got a letter from him thanking me)
2. The small container of my mothers ashes on my mantle no longer freaks me out and sometimes we end up having some good conversations.
3. I was really caught up in the Watchmen movie craze (hey it helps my bidness) but now am leaning to thinking while visually it will be great content wise it may suck.
4. I once broke the motor on the boat of the commander at Carswell Air Force base in Ft Worth Texas.
5. I once stole a McDonald's Chicken McNuggets banner (it was college don't ask lol)
6. I've seen Kenny Rodgers in concert

Feel free to play along if you like!

Thursday, January 15, 2009


What the hell is wrong with me?
I mean who doesn't have a roll of duct tape?

You know who?


Home Depot here I come tomorrow

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Not Sure I'm Handling This Right But I'm Trying

So this is where I find myself.
Siter1 and Sister2 both have 17 year old children who soon will be going to college.

And Dad is being harder on Sister1 and her plans on paying for college. She is a single Mom and only has the most beautiful child (I guess I should say woman) as a daughter in the entire multiverse (yes I'm biased).

Niece1 wants to go to UT. We are 18 months or so away from her going anywhere.

I think anyone who reads here or at my cardboard box underneath the overpass of the innertubes knows how much I love and respect my Father. He is the best person (ok a close tie with Mom) that I have ever known. And I realize how lucky I am to feel that way about him.

But I had to dress him down tonight.

I had to (hopefully) remind him he raised 2 great kids and me and that while being worried about Niece1 is fine and normal he should also remember to tell Sister1 "Hey I trust you know what you're doing here is my advice I love you talk soon"

And I know he does he just does not express it very well so Sister1 takes it the wrong way and here is Pido stuck in the middle with you lol.

It was a very different conversation I had with him tonight.

When he asked me "So what are you saying?" and I said it and we continued on the conversation. (That's how cool he is he didn't hang up on me :) )

I think this whole me being on the brink of being an adult is messing with me.

Can I go back to college instead of the kids? PLEASE?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Say Who's The Barber Here?

My finger hurts (no jokes please lol)
It is not a splinter but I have something under my fingernail that is making it hurt.

Being the educated human I am my course of action was, of course, run cold water over it.

And yes it still hurts.

but it reminded my of this SNL sketch. So at least I got something out of it.

Sunday, January 4, 2009