Friday, April 10, 2009

I Guess...


Anger is part of the healing process too.
(No I didn't do anything stupider than normal on a Friday night)
But I was just angry.

It's weird getting used to (again) those moments when your eyes well up for no reason.

There is no trigger, no memory, or outside stimulus that makes you remember.

Just an overwhelming tidal wave of sadness.

And you make all the adjustments over the years and find a new reality.

One where you can't call or touch or see her anymore but you know what she wants for you.

She wants you to grieve, to cry, to be sad.

To mourn the loss of a sister taken way too soon.

To see her in her children.

To be there for our father and sister.

And then continue to live your life in a way that honors what she means to you and what you mean to her.

It's never easy but that's what I'm shooting for anyway.

4 comments:

Christina said...

You got it, my friend.

(I do have a trigger. It's bobby pins. It's okay to laugh at that, too.)

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Christina's right - my dad has been gone since 1975. I still have my very mad days - and some things can trigger tears at any time, any where!

I like to believe it's love that causes it.

Grannie

Christina said...

Well, we wouldn't get mad and sad if we didn't love them--it's all from missing them and wanting them here to see this or that or the other, I think.

Brave Sir Robin said...

*hugs*