Tuesday, April 28, 2009

This Is How I Am Feeling These Days

With apologies to Freida Bee as it aint a froodle just a jumbled up bunch of mess.

Like me!

Monday, April 27, 2009

A small thing

I pick up my next door neighbor's kids along with my own after school, the weeks that the girls are here with me. Today, presumably as a thank you (and also because she's just that kind of neighbor), she rang the doorbell and gave us a little plate of pineapple cake, fresh from the oven. That was nice enough of her; nicer still, to my mind, was the fact that she brought eight pieces, not six.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Boy Turns Eight

And we took him back to the 80s.

The place still looks (and smells) just like it did way back that then. The kids had a fantastic time and The Boy was very happy.

Happy Birthday, Drama Boy.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Missed Keith

He was out of town and I really missed him.

I missed the sounds of him threatening to beat the kids with the neighbor's truck due to the "lawlessness around here".

I missed the sight of the vein throbbing in his forehead.

I missed the smell of the smoke coming out of his ears, Cajun barbecue with just a soupcon of bourbon...

...it all just says "home" to me.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Well, I am personally glad that your mom didn't have acne.

Christina knows what I'm talking about!

Well let's just say no "acne", mom and dad, equals at some point me.

Y'all could be subjected to worse, right?




Friday, April 10, 2009

I Guess...

Anger is part of the healing process too.
(No I didn't do anything stupider than normal on a Friday night)
But I was just angry.

It's weird getting used to (again) those moments when your eyes well up for no reason.

There is no trigger, no memory, or outside stimulus that makes you remember.

Just an overwhelming tidal wave of sadness.

And you make all the adjustments over the years and find a new reality.

One where you can't call or touch or see her anymore but you know what she wants for you.

She wants you to grieve, to cry, to be sad.

To mourn the loss of a sister taken way too soon.

To see her in her children.

To be there for our father and sister.

And then continue to live your life in a way that honors what she means to you and what you mean to her.

It's never easy but that's what I'm shooting for anyway.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

You KNow It Is Hard

To find your glasses that you need to see with when you are not wearing them.
Just saying is all.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Michele Has Moved On

We met with the head Doctor at 5 tonight and agreed on a course of action.

The dialysis would be turned off, the blood transfusions would stop, and all of the medicine would be cranked down except for those that helped with any pain.

My sister died tonight at 7:25ish P.M. Thursday April 2nd 2009.

Go in Peace Michele and thank you for making me a better person for knowing you.