Friday, February 29, 2008

Lesson #4 in Bad Parenting

Today is Leap Day.

So, Keith was helping to get The Boy ready this morning. Keith said, "Yes, today is Leap Day, so you can leap around all day."

"Don't tell him that! Now his teacher will be dealing with him jumping around the room all day. That was smart."

/speaking to leaping child/

"I was just kidding, son! No, no. Stop now. Stop. I said stop!"

I'm thinking we'll be seeing RED later today...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Lost ? I'd Say So

OK if the TV show LOST becomes some big time travel thing I WILL be upset.

I hate time travel stories they make no fucking sense

That is all.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Again with the light

Well, it's time. You all know what to do.

Monday, February 25, 2008

I've Got To Say

Today SUCKED.

Most things I had hoped to accomplish at work did not happen.
When the best thing you can say about your day is "HEY I have 4 less emails than when I got in today" is not the definition of a successful day.

I've worked for my company for 19 years. The company itself is only 25 years old.

I am a senior and respected employee.
And I love my job.

But at some point I am going to have to sit down the company, Vendor "A" a few people above and below me and say "CUT THIS SHIT OUT". I can't take being caught in the middle anymore.

Yes I am sorry one person out of 2000 was short book A.

But you know what? I DIDN'T PULL BOOK A. I called everyone involved with pulling book A but hey, guess what my fat ass is in an office and when someone says "I pulled Book A" am I supposed to say "Really I think you are lying to me"?

I'll continue to work as hard as I always have but there is no reason people with the title of VP should make it any harder.

And yes I'm in a mood tonight.

But am feeling better after typing this out.

(And if you are wondering Superman would so kick the Hulk's ass)

Thanks for listening. Now off to watch a TV show about a cybernetic life form from the future.

Peace All.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

I CAN BOIL WATER1!1



I know it doesn't seem much but this is from a guy who can't sew a button for ceiling cat's sake.

And what did the boiling water produce?

4 Cheese Pierogies!1!
And the oven Texas Cheese Toast




Grandma use to make home made pierogies (being the good german she was) but these were bought from the frozen food aisle of the local grocery.

Next time a little sauce would help but they were yummy.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

"Hey, Let's Have A Meetup!"

Two months ago today, I attended a meeting. It was a very good meeting, one where I met two very cool people - pidomon and Jennifer.

I would even go so far as to say that the meeting was life-changing. I no longer see myself limited to the Secret Lair (aka '73 Winnebago), in part because, as I say, I met two wonderful people whom I know will be a part of my life for, well, hopefully forever.

I'm really glad I've met you both, if for different reasons. ;)




Next on the agenda, meets with Christina, PortlyDyke, and others (konagod springs to mind).

As Jean-Luc Picard would say, ... "Make it so!"

Friday, February 22, 2008

Lesson #3 in Bad Parenting (Guilt Edition)

The Boy has a behavior chart that we see on a daily basis and must sign and turn back in. The teacher uses a color code to tell us how he's been that day.

Green means he's had a good day.

Yellow means he's gotten several warnings that day and the teacher finally had enough and told him to turn his card. For this, he gets 6 minutes in the corner when he gets home. (Six years old, six minutes.)

Blue means he's been rambunctious and didn't learn the first card-turn and now loses his recess time at school, and is grounded to his room when he gets home for the evening. No toys.

Red means that he's been a total hellion and hasn't listened, hasn't done his work and loses recess time, goes to the principal's office and will be grounded to his room without toys until he brings us home 5 green days--preferably in a row and, depending on what he did, possibly a spanking. We don't like to spank, but when nothing else will work, we do.

Well, so far this month, he has had quite the patriotic behavior chart. He is so pale from being grounded to his room that I'm concerned about a Vitamin D deficiency. His toys are covered in dust and we've spanked him so much that I'm afraid he's building up a callous on his butt.

In complete frustration during the parental lecture last night,* I said, "I swear, son, if you don't straighten up and fly right in school, we'll send you to military school in Botswana!" I'm fairly certain he has no clue where Botswana is, but he knew it was far away because he teared up and asked, "Can I bring a picture of you with me?"

/Mom dies of guilt/

Yeah, I know, the kid is good.

(The Girl, on the other hand, who is right now flunking all but one of her core subjects, is in serious jeopardy of being sent to military school in Siberia. I hear it's just lovely
there in spring.)

*and when I was a kid, those were enough. I'd've rather been beaten than listen to my parents go on and on and on and on ad infinitum.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A little light would be nice

So I'm going to be out of town for a week before Anything Happens. I'm pretty sure there are good reasons for that. It works for me.

You know who it doesn't work for?

My kids.

Despite, as far as I can see, zero outward evidence, they can tell something's going on. They're a little freaked out.

They're going to be fine--they are fine, most of the time. But they're also anxious about separation and more easily upset in general then usual. They need reassurance.

They so don't need me to be gone for a week right before whatever comes next.

Keep them in your thoughts, please.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Teh Fucking Ladders

So I'm sitting here watching Olbermann on MSNBC.
And this commercial comes on.
A man is playing tennis.
OK so there is a guy planning tennis.
Then a bunch of other people run on the court and try to play on his side and completely fuck him over.
He can't get to the serve or return anything because all these people who don't belong on the court are screwing his game up.
And then comes the tag.
See what happens when you let EVERYONE play.
The ladders the only job search for those making over $100,000 a year.
Now I don't mind corporate job searches looking for people of comparable experience, background or education but to tell me I shouldn't be on the court and those on the court are better than me because they have reached the magic ceiling of 100K?
Sure I'm worthless because I'm not making 6 figures. Thanks

So I went to the web site and they had a special message for people making under 100K

and here it is

"We list ONLY $100k+ positions. If you're not in the market for such senior-level positions, your time is best invested elsewhere. For jobs under $100k, Monster.com and HotJobs are good resources. Why not try Monster.com and HotJobs?"

Phuck Them
Those people making 100k had to come from somewhere and if I ever get there I wont look down on those trying to climb up that fucking ladder

Seen Today on Incoming Envelope

To Protect Our Environment This Packaging is Fully Degradable

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Once Again

Midnight and is anyone logged in?
This is why when I am in MD I dont stay up to midnite :(|)

Those are TMs!!

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

And the Tibetan Mastiffs are thinking, "Snack! Which part to bite first? White meat or the dark?"

Thursday, February 7, 2008

I Must Say....

I'm in a hotel room in Austin TX, logged on to the tubes of the net and NO ONE else is logged on?
I mean that is like saying "Hey" on chat and then running to catch a non existent plane

MONKEYS!!!!!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Email I Just sent to Jen

/not part of the email YOU ROCK GIRL/
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Oh, Happy Day!

I got a phone call this morning from my Ob/Gyn's office. That usually isn't a good thing.

But, today, it was! It so WAS!

I seems that I overpaid for my surgery. So my wonderful, awesome, sweet, kind and all things good doctor's office is reimbursing me....

$800!!!!

I feel like I've won the lottery!

I can pay the phone bill!

I can buy boots!

Maybe some curtains...perhaps some clothes...

(Hush. I know I'll pay bills with it, but it's fun to dream.)


Sunday, February 3, 2008

Why I hate Large Corporations

In this case specifically Direct TV
Long story short I had to buy a $300.00 DVR so I could get High Def TV
Since I had already mortgaged my soul and first born to Circuit City to buy said Hi Def TV I was all like "Uhh OK" (even though the week before best friend got the same DVR for free)
Ok fast forward. They install the new HD Dish, they install the new DVR.
I look at my bill and see I am being charged for 4 receivers when I only I have 3.
So the cobwebs start moving in my brain "Hey maybe I'm being overcharged?"
So I email DTV and the answer is
Prove you dont have 4 receivers and oh by the way you dont own the new DVR your leasing it even though you gave us $300.00 FRACKING DOLLARS
*UGH*

Old dog, old tricks




What you see above is nothing less than a wonder. I have not seen Sugar play in years but today our 13 year old cocker mix played for quite awhile with the puppy. She was rolling around on her back, chewing on the puppy's ankles and acting as if she was a puppy again. It was a good thing to see.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Now on the Science Channel

SURVIVORMAN

Jungle CC HD
Les travels the tropical beaches of Costa Rica with no food and no water.
Channel:284

LOL

No Smoking in Maryland

Yesterday our new law the Maryland Clean Indoor Air Act went into effect banning all smoking in bars and restaurants.

Yeah sucks to be a smoker in Maryland. But maybe some good will come out of it. I guess anything that makes me smoke less is a good thing.

But (you knew there was a but in here dintcha?) what I've found out is when I'm in those environments where I can't smoke I just smoke more in the places where I can.

Oh well we will see what happens.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Stupid Mood Ring

For kicks, I added the Mood Ring button to my Google toolbar. Most of the time, it's green which means, "no emotional turmoil" which is what it said yesterday so...yeah, obviously not very accurate.

Today, it is blue which means lovable among other things.

Is Google telling me that I am not lovable at all times? I think I am. I must've been mistaken.

:sob:

Oh! It just changed to dark blue, "Impassioned, delighted, whiff of romance" I am at home with The Boy who has the flu in a wrecked house I need to pick up, making appointments for the vet and calling his school and my work to let them know that Typhoid Boy Strikes Again.

So, not lovable anymore but can't you just feel the romance?