Thursday, July 9, 2009

Forces Of Nature And Other Things You Can Not Avoid

It's still odd, even going through it after Ma died, how the smallest things can be a trigger or you start crying and then laughing and can't figure out what started it at all.

At the oddest times it just hits.
I'll never physically hug my sister again.
I'll never talk to her on the phone again.
Then a moment from years ago that just makes me laugh.
(If I haven't told you about the date when I was a senior in high school[legal drinking age for me and my date] and Michele and her friend made us dinner and gave us non alcoholic wine and I acted all drunk remind me not too!)
And on the flip side years to come where she won't be there in the flesh at whatever holidays we gather for.

Grief and grieving is a process. I know that and all of you have helped me through this before. Thank you for that.

But the force when it just hits still amazes me.

I love and miss you Michele.

And I'm pretty sure we'll start talking like me and Mom do.

I can still hear you saying to Mom when she would ask "B do you want a sandwich?"
And you would say "He can do it himself".
And it would drive you nuts because I took advantage as if I could not make my own damn sandwich (and I only did it because I knew it annoyed you!)

I miss you every day Michele but for some reason the tidal wave hit today.

And I am proud to sit here and cry and laugh while I remember you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, yes. How well I know Those Moments.

And don't have a bobby pin near me if you don't want to see waterworks. Weird, I know, but that's how it is.