Monday, August 3, 2009

I Just Want To Fucking Scream

And I really don't know why. I just do want to fucking scream at everything in the entire universe.

I've never had more things that "society" considers important than I do right now.

I have a nice house. I have a new car. I have a safe (as far as I can tell) job.
I get to play golf every weekend weather permitting. I can do pretty much whatever the fuck I want to.

I have a great family and so many good phriends on the innertubes.

So why, at this point in time, do I just want to fucking scream at the sky and claim how unfair everything is?

I won life's lottery. I'm white and I have a penis. Can't do much better than that as far as starting out can ya?

Probably not unless your born rich white with a penis.

I just don't know what the fuck is going on with me right now.
I've always been able to see things clearly and adjust and adapt as needed.

Seems now I don't have that particular talent penis or not.

There are things I should be doing that I'm just not.
Like get a physical or see a dentist but I just don't fucking care. I just want to scream. Sorry, fucking scream.

I've been mired in this type of sludge before and have always gotten through it.

Just seems the the older you get the harder it gets.

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

The desire to fucking scream is an equal opportunity human experience. Neither wealth nor whiteness nor penishood (umm. penitude? penality? I'm trying very hard not to say "being the holder of a penis" because...well.) gets you out of it.

It'll pass, you know. Look it in the face, feel what you've got to feel, and wait it out. Preferably while golfing and getting at least the minimum sorts of totally necessary things done.

And once it's passed, or passing, then you go do those other things. I'm starting to get around to some of those myself, finally.

Christina said...

Steve, honey...

Denial
Bargaining
ANGER
DEPRESSION

Acceptance

This IS The Fun Part! said...

You know what needs to be done. Take one step at a time. Get just one thing done - for YOU.

Then you can look at the next item on your list.

And if you don't fucking care, we DO! Don't make me stop this car and come back there!

Grannie :-)

giggles said...

They said it.... I was gonna say, simply, depression. Been there. (Am there.) Done that. (Doing that, and unwilling to do what it takes to get better.... I hear you say "Poor family..." Yep.)