Wednesday, June 30, 2010

More Mundane Matters: With Names

Steve, you sweet, wonderful man, thank you for your call last night. It really, really helps to know that I have such awesome friends who are there no matter what. I love you, man.

Rebecca has been my rock through this. She called Keith and Nikki and Dave when I couldn't catch my breath long enough to talk. She's been holding down the fort and just generally making everything easier, talking me through it all and being there. She's a kick ass roommate...and swiftly becoming one of my best friends ever.

Keith is being...Keith. He's trying to be comforting but it winds up being about him somehow. He's with the kids, though, and by doing that he's helping me to be able to go to NY and attend the funeral. And given that we're not living together, I'm able to be more understanding and forgiving these days for whatever reason and I'm touched that he tries. After all, he's my ex--he doesn't even have to do that much. He cares and I know that. Isn't that what's important? Family. And he's family and always will be. He's fucking awesome. We've been dating a mere 4 months and he's right there every time. He says, "I'm no good at times like these" and then turns around and is absolutely amazing. He came down without me even asking (turns out Rebecca told him that he may need to--so he just did), went to my parents' house with me, stayed with me for the night even though he's got to work today, distracted me, listened to me and gave me comfort with word and body. He's...I'm out of superlatives. I'm grateful, so very grateful, that he found me. I definitely got the better end of that deal, I think.

The kids are okay. They didn't know my grandfather the way I wanted them to. We just lived too far away from each other. Nikki knew him marginally better than Richie did but, like I said, they're okay.

As for plans, no one knows anything yet. They're doing an autopsy to find out what happened but we're pretty sure he had a heart attack while he was driving. I only hope he'd already died when he hit the guard rails and went over the embankment into the ravine. I would hate to think his last moments were in pain and unable to move and the fear of trying to control the car and not being able to and worrying about hurting someone else. No, much better the other way so that's how I'll remember it. When they finally release the body, we'll know more about the funeral and so on. I'll post then but y'all know I'm going. If it's soon, I'll fly b/c it's cheaper before the holiday. After the holiday, the prices double so I'll take the bike. /shrug/ Whatever.

'Til then, thank you all for being such fantabulous friends.


Rebecca said...

Of course I would be there for you, you are one of my greatest friends.. I seem to take charge of things, just my nature.. Besides I figured, it would benefit you to have 2 people w/ you when it set in.. Which, it still hasnt im sure, but, we will be there at that time too..

I like to think he is w/ Mrs. Jones and all is well for them again.. Just keep your head up and if you ever need to cry, cry... ill get the kleenex, but no blowing snot on my shoulder, k? :)

Steve said...

i'm assuming you are talking about another steve :)
as R says we are all here for you and we love you.
being a part of your family, and you a part of mine. is something this is something i never anticipated but count as a blessing every single day.

if you come up by some means other than flying you know Baltimore is on the way to New York and I have a lot of room and hugs here at my place.

I love you. You're family and whatever you need if I can provide it I will.

So there!