Thursday, July 3, 2008

I'm Not Worried But Edition......

As I said in my lame post last night I talked with Michele who said she would never go through anything like radiation again.

And we briefly talked about Mom's decision to opt out of chemo. And reminded ourselves that we all supported that decision.

And I did my best to let her know that whatever decision she makes she has the same support from her brother, sister, and father.

And tonight on the way home I cried a bit. (Or a lot depending on how you look at it :))

People die every day in ways that are much more horrific than what my sister is going through.

But in the end what it comes down to is my sister is going to die.

Probably before me, before Dad, before Sheri, before her husband and wonderful kids.

But even if that happens she will always be with us and we will support her and whatever decisions she makes.

It is not me being filled up with radioactive crap and going to the bathroom and throwing up at the same time.

It is not me looking at 2 wonderful children wondering how much longer I have with them.

It is just not me. It may be someday but not right now.

So the living live, the sick try to get better, and I have to, have to believe that the majority, not just in this country, but in the fracking world are all working just a bit harder to make it a better place.

We will never run for Senate or the House or Mayor.

We will never try to persuade people to give us power and trust us with that power.

But what we will do is hold out our hand to that one person who needs it.

And hope that turns into another hand, and another and another.

And if it does not at least we know we held our hand out and will again

That is the strength of the human race.


Bob said...

Damn, Brotha.

That's a helluva post.

Well done.

And, I totally agree with you.

Anonymous said...

What Bob said.

And I'm sorry.

And I love you. You are one of my favorite people in the world.

PortlyDyke said...

I'm sending you a huge big hug from here, pido.

The issue of death (and dying) has been one that I have dealt with a lot in my life. It's ironic to me that when it seems imminent, we are often most alive.

Having supported a number of friends and loved ones with cancer -- some who passed over, and some who did not, some who took traditional treatment and died, or lived, and some who refused traditional treatment and lived, or died -- I know that my personal choice about whether or not to undergo traditional chemo or radiation is far from a certain "yes", for me, and that I can't really say for sure what I would do if faced with that choice.

I believe that your sister's choice is a choice to care for herself in the best way she knows at this point, and I think that that is a huge part of health.

I am remembering, right now, to cherish you, all the Misphits, and all the other people I care for and love. This is the moment we have.


Anonymous said...

This post had to be difficult to write, but you have to know it is incredible writing.

I wish so much for Michele to be well, but I know ho much wishing gets us

You're right to support her in whatever decision she makes.

Big hugs to you, Pido.

kkryno said...

What a decision to have to make. What a brave woman she is. My heart aches for your family, yet i am inn awe of all of you. My hat's off to Michele; and best hopes for your family. Just keep in mind that your Mom is there for all of you. Love, V.