Tuesday, January 8, 2008

OK I'm Unhappy With Myself This Evening

I've worked really hard over the last 10-12 years to leave the obnoxious Pido of my early days in the past.

No details but I could be one SOB in the 80's and early 90's.

I'm not sure what triggered the time warp tonight. Probably a few beers and a few shots.

Started out the evening with BFF JW (we've known each other since 1981) and had a beer or two. That conversation is a post for a different night (but needless to say I had more dimes in the shot glass at the end of the pool table than he did)

So I leave the Stone of Blue and go to the House of Trees and to check on CB who had some (ahem) over 50 tests done yesterday. I wanted to see how things went (as soon I too will have a camera shoved up my ass) and just to say Hi.

Well I walk in and CB and EB are playing darts. Thats fine. Then I played darts.

Which is also fine except I turned into this raging asshole.
Yeah I won the games and these guys are my phriends but it was like stepping outside of myself going "Why are you beating your chest because you won a stupid dart game?"

Instead if saying "Hey I'm here with some good phriends who cares who wins?"

I've tried really hard not to be that "guy" anymore.

Except I slipped back into it.

And I hate that.

The guy I was in my 20's. He is lucky to still have good friends and family.

Sometimes it seems I fight not to turn back into that guy.

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