This Is Me

By splord -
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Resentment

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I'm glad it's going to work out, and that my kids are going to see their grandparents and my parents are going to see their grandkids, even if not in the way we thought and not for the actual holidays. I'm even perfectly fine with taking the trip without the kids - assuming I do get to take the trip, which is the assumption I'm working on right now. But you know what? Even though I do understand where it comes from, I'm a little upset at being preemptively accused of international parental kidnapping, you know?
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Lot Of Triggers This Week For Some Reason

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I'm not sure what set anything off this week. I just had some very vivid images of Michele at M.D. Anderson, non responsive, with machines beeping and binging, and never opening her eyes while I was there. I had vivid memories of the family meeting with the doctor and making sure Michele's wishes were carried out. I had vivid memories this week of the machines getting quieter and quieter. It seems like yesterday that after her son and daughter said goodbye that I went in the hospital ICU room to get whatever was still in there so they didn't have to. And for some reason the image in my head was looking at Michele, her dead body, knowing she was the best of us and had drawn the short straw,and missing her as much in that moment as I do right now. I love you Michele. Your the best sister a brother could ever ask for.
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Lessons in Bad Parenting 7: Inducing Shame

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Copy of e-mail to Damien's teacher today: Damien's Lack of $ today Dear Mrs. Damien's-Teacher, I wanted to explain why Damien didn't have lunch money today. His dad and I gave him enough for breakfast and lunch for the day this morning. He is forever being told to put his money in his pocket when we give it to him. He did not do so this morning and left it on the couch. When we got to school, he demanded that I go home to get it for him. When I explained that I was already late for work and could not go back to the house, he threw his backpack to the ground, kicked it across the parking lot and started to scream at me. That more or less guaranteed that the sun would rise in the west and devils would ice skate before he got that money. And that is why Damien did not have money for lunch or breakfast this morning. Thanks. Sincerely, Me It's a good thing I didn't have children so I could have someone to love me. Heh.
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