Thursday, June 19, 2008

I am Prince Herbert

Your result for The Monty Python Character Test...

Prince Herbert

You scored 70 Stubborn, 39 Crazy, 23 Agressive, and 47 Evil!

Apperance: The Holy Grail.

The lad trying to climb out of the window.

High Light: The rescue of Prince Herbert

Scene: The drawbridge of Swamp Castle. Two guards standing here looking very bored. Off in the distance, they see Launcelot running towards them waving his sword in the air. They look at each other, then back at Launcelot. They seem confused. He does not get any closer, though he he keeps running. The guards look at each other again. One taps his forehead. They lean on their pikes and idly watch Sir Launcelot still running towards them and getting nowhere. They look at each other. Suddenly Launcelot appears right next to them and runs them both through. They die, considerably surprised.

Launcelot runs through the castle, slicing, dicing, grating, mincing, and otherwise generally killing the entire populace. He fights his way up to the Tower through the throngs of bewildered wedding guests. He reached the Tower and throws open the door.

Guard 1: Hello! Urggh.

Guard 2: *Hic*

Launcelot: Milady, here kneels the humble Sir Launcelot of Camelot, Knight of the Round Table, and I stand ready to deliver you from-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Prince Herbert: You got my note!

Launcelot: Well, I got *a* note...let's not jump to conclusions...

Prince Herbert: I *knew* some one would read it and rescue me! I've got a rope all ready! Let's climb down!

King: What's all this!?! Are you the one who killed all my guests?

Prince Herbert: He's come to rescue me!

King: Shut your noise, you. Well, what about it?

Launcelot: Well, I suppose I may have got...a bit... carried away with the moment...

King: Carried away?!? Look, whoever you are, you not only ruined my wedding reception, and caused me great mental anguish, but you killed the bride's father and kicked the bride in the chest! Now what sort of behavior is that??? Who are you, anyway?

Launcelot: Well, I am Sir Launcelot of King Arthur's Court, and I--
King: King Arthur?? King-of-England Arthur? And you're one of his Knights of the Round Table?

Prince Herbert: I'm ready, Sir Launcelot!

Launcelot: Well...yes...and I'm awfully sorry about the fuss...

King: Fuss? Nonsense!! Why, Sir Launcelot, consider yourself my honored guest, please! (quietly) Lots of land up by Camelot, eh?

Launcelot: Well, I'm terribly sorry about killing all those people...and kicking the bride...

Prince Herbert: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!

King: Don't worry about a thing, sir. Just come downstairs with me, will you? I want to introduce you to everyone.

Launcelot: Well, thank you....Thank you very much...

King: I won't be a minute, Sir Launcelot....

Prince Herbert:(from outside) Are you coming, Sir Launcelot?

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! (thump)

King: (liltingly) Coming, Sir Launcelot...

Sir Launcelot goes down the stairs. Upon recognizing him as the one who caused all the damage, the remaining guests shout such things as, "There he is!" and, "He's the one!" and, "Get him!" Launcelot draws his sword and goes beserk again.

King: Oh, bloody hell.

Launcelot is at last subdued before causing too much damage, save only kicking the bride again, and the King prepares to make a speech.

King: Ladies and gentlemen. This man whom you see beside me is my own honored friend, Sir Launcelot of Camelot. He has come all this way just to---

Guest: He killed the bride's father!!

King: Oh, come now! Let's not bicker and argue about 'oo killed 'oo! Sir Lancelot has come to celebrate with me the joyful occasion of my son's marriage to Princess Lucky. Unfortunately, my son Herbert has just fallen to his death from the Tall Tower. (gasps) But, I like to think of myself, not as having lost a son, but as having gained a daughter. For, since the father of the bride perished in most untimely circumstances....

Voice: He's not quite dead yet....

King: (thrown) Er...since her father has come so close to death as to be considered dead...

Voice: I think he's coming 'round!

King: Since her father, who, when it seemed he was just on the verge of recovery, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him...(thump)

Voice: He's kicked off!

King: Right...I should like the Princess to think of me as her own Dad. In the firm and legally binding sense. And, as this is meant to be a wedding day, I would like to welcome Sir Launcelot into my family, and give him the hand of my new daughter in earnest token of my esteem for him and his title.

Launcelot: Well, really, I must be going, I don't think--

King: Going? Nonsense! Why, how could you leave me at a time like this, so recently bereft of my only son?

Concorde: He's not quite dead yet! (general reaction)

King: Oh, bloody hell.

Voice: But, how on earth did you survive the fall from the Tall Tower?

Prince Herbert: Well, I'll tell you...

King: No! Wait! Stop that!

Guests: He's going to tell,

he's going to tell,

he's going to tell,

he's going to tell!

He's going to tell,

he's going to tell,

he's going to tell,

he's going to tell!

Concorde: Quick, sir, let's get out of here. This way.

Launcelot: No, no. I need something more...more...

Concorde: Dramatic, sir?

Launcelot: Dramatic! Right! This bell pull will do...

Launcelot: Err...could someone give me a push?

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