Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Guess I Lied

But only here at the island and what happens at the island stays at the island!
(Maybe we should look into a casino or two)

A year ago tonight I was at M.D. Anderson hospital. In a couple hours visiting time would be over but the staff let us stay bit there was only room for two in the room.

Naturally we gave that to Jim and Ali and Dad, Sheri, and I went and staked our spots out around ICU to see where we could get an hours or so sleep.

And me being me I believed the signs saying "This Visitors Room Closes at 11:00" and went looking for somewhere to lay down and found a love seat in the lobby.

Not very comfortable but I hunkered down and pulled my TCU cap over my head and tried to sleep (which was off and on)but eventually April 2nd came.

Dad, Sheri and I met and had breakfast at the hospital and went back to the room and about noon Dad and I headed back to Brenham to shit shine shower and shave.

And we got the call that we all had to meet to decide what was the next step.

At this point we knew (and I am damn glad we did) what Michele wanted the next step to be. But before we took that step we met with the Doctor.

And as much as we had hoped the step would not be the step we wanted to take the step was there.

And we had to take it.

It was the only way we could be true to our sister and daughter.

At about 5:30 or so they unplugged every thing except those machines keeping her comfortable and any pain she may feel at bay.

And about 45 minutes later she died.

Here I am a year later and even typing that makes me feel so very, very selfish.

I'm a mess. For tonight.

But this will pass because I know my sister loves me. And she'll give me a pass every now and then to cry when I shouldn't, to sometimes gaze into the sunset or sunrise and go away to another time when things were a whole hell of a lot better than they are now.

And I love my sister.

And I miss her.

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